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2.01.2018
8.17.2017
1.23.2016
1.11.2015
7.17.2014
Wake Up Call to Gay Men
http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2014/07/11/nr-bts-alan-scott-sierra-mannie-dear-white-gay-men-op-ed.cnn.htmlhttp://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2014/07/11/nr-bts-alan-scott-sierra-mannie-dear-white-gay-men-op-ed.cnn.html
7.16.2014
Surviving Sucks
It's now going on nearly two years since my father died. You know how people say "It gets easier with time"? Well, so far it hasn't. In fact, it has gotten considerably worse. Every success in life and every failure I experience, I think of my Dad. The Korean word for Dad is "Appa" and so when I think of him, I think the word Appa. In fact, I don't think I ever addressed him as Dad. Not even once.
There are times when the pain is so excruciating that I hear myself praying things like "God, I would give anything for just 5 minutes of my dad coming back to see me, to see my kids (his grandkids) one more time and truly say goodbye". But if there's one pearl of wisdom that I've learned in my life, you don't ever get to negotiate with God. Why not? Well, because He's God. He makes the rules. And sometimes when I'm feeling angry at the loss, I just stop and think about how God never really even had to create me or my father in the first place. We could have never existed. And when I think of that, that makes me stop in my tracks. You see, at least I got a chance to love my father and my father got a chance to love me. We didn't always get along. In fact, many and most times we hated each other. But deep down inside, you really couldn't break our bond as father and son, no matter what. And I miss that. I miss having a father who's alive. I have this humongous hole in my heart that I have no idea how to fill back up. All I know is the hole hurts.
So I fill up the pain and the longing and the sleepless nights with love from my family: from my mother, my brother, and my little girls. But still, there's that hole that won't ever go away. I honestly can't even imagine what it will be like when I lose my mom too. And this is why I'm determined now more than ever to love the snot out of my mom. To give it everything I've got to take good care of her, love her, and respect her while I still have her on this green earth.
I don't know what heaven will be like. I know it will be amazing, full of splendor and beyond our wildest imagination. But right now, I'd settle for just 10 minutes alone with my dad. I miss you, Appa. You've taken a piece of my heart with you.
There are times when the pain is so excruciating that I hear myself praying things like "God, I would give anything for just 5 minutes of my dad coming back to see me, to see my kids (his grandkids) one more time and truly say goodbye". But if there's one pearl of wisdom that I've learned in my life, you don't ever get to negotiate with God. Why not? Well, because He's God. He makes the rules. And sometimes when I'm feeling angry at the loss, I just stop and think about how God never really even had to create me or my father in the first place. We could have never existed. And when I think of that, that makes me stop in my tracks. You see, at least I got a chance to love my father and my father got a chance to love me. We didn't always get along. In fact, many and most times we hated each other. But deep down inside, you really couldn't break our bond as father and son, no matter what. And I miss that. I miss having a father who's alive. I have this humongous hole in my heart that I have no idea how to fill back up. All I know is the hole hurts.
So I fill up the pain and the longing and the sleepless nights with love from my family: from my mother, my brother, and my little girls. But still, there's that hole that won't ever go away. I honestly can't even imagine what it will be like when I lose my mom too. And this is why I'm determined now more than ever to love the snot out of my mom. To give it everything I've got to take good care of her, love her, and respect her while I still have her on this green earth.
I don't know what heaven will be like. I know it will be amazing, full of splendor and beyond our wildest imagination. But right now, I'd settle for just 10 minutes alone with my dad. I miss you, Appa. You've taken a piece of my heart with you.
6.14.2014
3.21.2014
3.14.2013
2.23.2013
1.03.2013
12.17.2012
Rest in Peace, Victims of Sandy Hook Elementary
SHOOTING IN NEWTOWN, CT @ SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY
I feel that it's necessary to say something on my blog about this tragic event. There's no doubt in my mind that the nation felt a mutual and collective sense of pain and anguish upon hearing the news of this event. On December 14, 2012, a lone gunman, 20 year old Adam Lanza, went into Sandy Hook Elementary School killing 20 children, three teachers, the principal, as well as his mother (beforehand) and then ultimately himself. All told, the body count finished at 27.
I don't know what could possess a person to do something like this. If this kid was so despondent, why didn't he just kill himself and be done with it? Why take the lives of 20 innocent children and the teachers/principal who have done nothing wrong? Then to top it all off, instead of facing consequences, Lanza committed suicide. This was a good-old fashioned coward. Now, all that's left are grieving families that will forever be without their 6 or 7 year old. Their child (for some, their only child) who had given them so much joy and love and hope will now be gone for the rest of their lives. The media used words like "unimaginable" and "tragic" but there's nothing unimaginable about this. We can all feel what kind of hurt this must be like. And the fact that this was tragic does not extend to the shooter. I feel no pity for him. But again, I do feel pity for his (and his mother's) family which has now also suffered loss. This was senseless and pointless.
Of course, this will now turn to the gun control debate, I'm sure. And I'm sure I'll have an opinion about this to share in the future. But for now, I'm grieving along with the rest of the nation. I too, have a 6 year old. I don't know what I'd do without my daughter. It would literally be the end of me.
So, let us pray for these poor grieving families who have suffered tremendously this past week. I don't mean just saying we'll pray. I mean let's literally get on our knees and pray to God that He will be merciful and bring peace and comfort (and renewed strength) to their lives. It will be difficult if not nearly impossible for these parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, etc. We owe it to them to pray.
May God have mercy on these families.
I feel that it's necessary to say something on my blog about this tragic event. There's no doubt in my mind that the nation felt a mutual and collective sense of pain and anguish upon hearing the news of this event. On December 14, 2012, a lone gunman, 20 year old Adam Lanza, went into Sandy Hook Elementary School killing 20 children, three teachers, the principal, as well as his mother (beforehand) and then ultimately himself. All told, the body count finished at 27.
I don't know what could possess a person to do something like this. If this kid was so despondent, why didn't he just kill himself and be done with it? Why take the lives of 20 innocent children and the teachers/principal who have done nothing wrong? Then to top it all off, instead of facing consequences, Lanza committed suicide. This was a good-old fashioned coward. Now, all that's left are grieving families that will forever be without their 6 or 7 year old. Their child (for some, their only child) who had given them so much joy and love and hope will now be gone for the rest of their lives. The media used words like "unimaginable" and "tragic" but there's nothing unimaginable about this. We can all feel what kind of hurt this must be like. And the fact that this was tragic does not extend to the shooter. I feel no pity for him. But again, I do feel pity for his (and his mother's) family which has now also suffered loss. This was senseless and pointless.
Of course, this will now turn to the gun control debate, I'm sure. And I'm sure I'll have an opinion about this to share in the future. But for now, I'm grieving along with the rest of the nation. I too, have a 6 year old. I don't know what I'd do without my daughter. It would literally be the end of me.
So, let us pray for these poor grieving families who have suffered tremendously this past week. I don't mean just saying we'll pray. I mean let's literally get on our knees and pray to God that He will be merciful and bring peace and comfort (and renewed strength) to their lives. It will be difficult if not nearly impossible for these parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, etc. We owe it to them to pray.
May God have mercy on these families.
9.28.2012
Kathy Ireland- I Am Second
Who knew that former supermodel Kathy Ireland was a Christian...a totally souled-out, devoted Christian?
Not me. But Praise the Lord for it!!!
Home - I Am Second
Not me. But Praise the Lord for it!!!
Home - I Am Second
8.06.2012
10.22.2011
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